Prayer

In James Joyce's novel Ulysses, Stephan Dedalus wrestles with the guilt that comes from his refusal to pray at the bedside of his dying mother, some time before the novel begins.   His friends mock him.  If he really has no faith, than what would it have cost him to throw this gift to a dying woman?  Even though he says he doesn't believe, doesn't his refusal to bow down suggest in some weird way that he does?  

What about prayer? I don't myself pray, nor do I meditate, but I have no problem that others do. As someone who lacks the God gene, as I put it, and who thinks there's nothing out there, perhaps I'm just too embedded in the concrete (or shallow) to engage in the self-emptying of that sort of spiritual practice.  But, I'm not the least offended when a friend offers to pray for me--quite the opposite.  I view an offer of a prayer as a gift.  How churlish it would be to refuse something given generously by those who love me.  

Over at the Village Voice, a letter writer asked columnist Andrew W K what he should do when he (the letter writer) is asked to pray for his ill brother.  I suspect he was surprised by the answer from someone who would not describe himself as religious, exhorting him to get on his knees and give it up:

Prayer is a type of thought. It's a lot like meditation — a type of very concentrated mental focus with passionate emotion directed towards a concept or situation, or the lack thereof. But there's a special X-factor ingredient that makes "prayer" different than meditation or other types of thought. That X-factor is humility. This is the most seemingly contradictory aspect of prayer and what many people dislike about the feeling of praying. "Getting down on your knees" is not about lowering your power or being a weakling, it's about showing respect for the size and grandeur of what we call existence — it's about being humble in the presence of the vastness of life, space, and sensation, and acknowledging our extremely limited understanding of what it all really means. 

Being humble is very hard for many people because it makes them feel unimportant and helpless. To embrace our own smallness is not to say we're dumb or that we don't matter, but to realize how amazing it is that we exist at all in the midst of so much more. To be fully alive, we must realize how much else there is besides ourselves. We must accept how much we don't know — and how much we still have to learn — about ourselves and the whole world. Kneeling down and fully comprehending the incomprehensible is the physical act of displaying our respect for everything that isn't "us." 

....The paradoxical nature of this concept is difficult, but it is the key to unlocking the door of spirituality in general, and it remains the single biggest reason many people don't like the idea of prayer or of spiritual pursuits in general — they feel it's taking away their own power and it requires a dismantling of the reliable day-to-day life of the material world. In fact, it's only by taking away the illusion of our own power and replacing it with a greater power — the power that comes from realizing that we don't have to know everything — that we truly realize our full potential. ...

To know that you don't know is the definition of a spiritual awakening. And keeping that realization at the front of our mind and in the core of our being informs the rest of our existence. It takes a deeper type of strength to admit to ourselves that we don't have it all figured out than to run around keeping all our plates spinning. It seems strange to think that turning yourself over to your own bewilderment would actually bring clarity, but it does. Solving this riddle is the beginning of any true spiritual journey. 

Read the whole thing.  And then come back here and comment, what is prayer? 

On public prayer

This is a strong editorial on how the Supreme Court's decision on prayer actually harms religion. My emphasis:

Authentic prayer is a risky business. It has a way of forcing open realms in which answers are far from certain, set attitudes are questioned, and consciences are made uneasy. To pray, after all, is to acknowledge that no power on earth is supreme — not money, not weapons, not fame, not social standing, not romantic love, not even the US Constitution. All of these can be turned into idols, and often are. To pray is to look elsewhere for ultimate meaning, whose possible “intimations” pertain to everything — decidedly including foreign and domestic policy. 

“Religion,” in the words of the late scholar Ronald Dworkin, “is a deep, distinct, and comprehensive worldview: It holds that inherent, objective value permeates everything, that the universe and its creatures are awe-inspiring, that human life has purpose and the universe order.” What does such grandeur have to do with serving as mere bunting for public functions? A few formulaic words with heads bowed, akin to gaveling the room to silence, confirm all who know the code in their insidership. But it also does violence to the sublime mystery of real faith. 

The separation of church and state should mean just that, and not only for democracy’s sake. The United States has a long history of conscripting someone called “God” into its worst mistakes, and American religion has been horribly corrupted again and again. For the sake of citizens who believe differently, or believe not at all, prayer has no place at the elbow of on-duty officials. But for the love of God, who transcends town meetings and the very nation, prayer has no place there either.

On public prayer

Retired Bishop Gene Robinson reflects on the Supreme Court's decision on prayer.

...just because we can,should we? Wouldn’t it be the “Christian” thing to do, to show a bit of generosity of spirit and sensitivity to those whose beliefs differ from our own? If we are going to have public prayers (something worth debating another time), couldn’t they strive to include every person of whatever faith? I tried to do that for the President-elect. I’m still proud of my attempt. Here it is: 

Oh God of our many understandings, we pray that you will… 

Bless us with tears for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS. 

Bless us with anger at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.
Bless us with discomfort at the easy, simplistic “answers” we’ve preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future. 

Bless us with patience and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be “fixed” anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.
Bless us with humility open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world. 

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences. 

Bless us with compassion and generosity remembering that every religion’s God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.

If you don't remember it, that was his prayer at the first inauguration of Barack Obama.  Robinson says, "After the prayer, I had numerous Jews and Muslims come to me in tears, saying that never before had they felt a part of such public prayer."

From the other side, not so much.

From conservative Christians I got voluminous hate mail accusing me of missing the opportunity to save souls by invoking the name of Jesus Christ, and judging me to have denied Christ like Peter and betrayed Christ like Judas. As for me, I am not worried about meeting Christ one day and hearing firsthand what he has to say about that prayer.

Because nothing invokes Christ like hate mail.

Prayers for the dying

Who hasn't said to themselves something like, "Please don't let me screw  this up" when going into a job interview?  But does that inchoate thought count as a prayer? I think the answer to that in part depends upon to whom we think the plea is made.

A few months ago, the Washington Post had an article about atheists praying.  One of the praying atheists interviewed for the piece says,

“If you say, ‘I ought to have more serenity about the things I can’t change,’ versus ‘Grant me serenity,’ there is a humility, a surrender, an openness. If you say, ‘grant me,’ you’re saying you can’t do it by yourself. Or you wouldn’t be there,” said Gold....

What I get from that is he has a yearning for the comfort of faith and a willingness to give himself up, even though his intellect can't quite go there.  The article goes on,

Atheists deny religion’s claim of a supernatural god but are starting to look more closely at the “very real effect” that practices such as going to church, prayer and observance of a Sabbath have on the lives of the religious, said Paul Fidalgo, a spokesman for the secular advocacy group the Center for Inquiry. “That’s a big hole in atheist life,” he said. “Some atheists are saying, ‘Let’s fill it.’ Others are saying, ‘Let’s not.’ ”

I'm not a praying sort of atheist, though I like the act of going to church and the rhythm of the ritual.   Regardless, I've got no problem with other people praying around me, or even for me.  The way I see it, if someone wants to pray for me, they are offering a gift. (The only exception is the butter-wouldn't-melt-in-the-mouth  sort who says "I'll PRAY for you" to the Godless homosexual--that's not a prayer as a gift, it's as a weapon.)

I know BP prays for me, and when she drops me at the airport to go off on a business trip, she always traces a cross on my forehead.  Jokingly, I told her if the cat gave me a dead mouse, that would be a gift in his world too... she hit me.  ;-)  But all joking aside, I very much appreciate that BP does this, and I am glad to be the recipient.  Since I am married to a Christian, if she DIDN'T pray for me, she either wouldn't be much of a Christian, or our marriage would be in real trouble.

Recently we talked about last rites. I told BP that if I were lying in a hospital at risk of death, and she wanted to call the priest to give me last rites, that would be fine.  Because it is meaningful to her.  After all, what does it matter to me?  At that point, it's not about me. I would want my wife to do whatever gives her the most comfort.  She was relieved, I think, to have that explicit permission.  I also assured her that if the situation were reversed, one of my very first calls would be to a priest, again, because it matters to her.  (It helps that one of our dearest friends is a priest!)

That conversation came back to us last night as we heard the tragic story of someone BP knew from work.  L. was in a terrible car accident with irrevocable brain damage, and a Roman Catholic priest had been summoned.  There was some discussion in the family that the victim "wouldn't want that".  But at this point, it's not about the victim.  She's already gone.  Maybe it gives comfort to the ones who do believe.  Maybe it's a way of admitting that she's gone.  Maybe it's closure.  It doesn't matter.

I know that many ex-Catholics-turned-atheist  have a visceral dislike of the idea of last rites, almost as if they believe that Holy Mother Church will be triumphant in the end and drag them to a heaven in which they don't believe.  But if you really DON'T  believe, then what's the  harm?  You're past caring.  But for someone in the family, maybe it's important.  Like funerals, these ritual acts are not just about the dead.  They are for the living.

Telling someone that you'll pray for them has an intention to it.  It's an act of generosity. To reject it is churlish.  So, for those so inclined, prayers for the crash victim L. and her family in this trying and difficult time.

Tolling the Bell

The Connecticut Governor has asked for bells to be tolled on Friday morning, 26 times for the victims at Sandy Hook school.

But this leaves out one victim:  the shooter's mother.  Are people trying to "punish" the mother by not memorializing her loss?   And actually, 28 people died on Friday:  26 in the school,  the shooter's mother and of course the shooter himself.

Last Sunday, the bell in our church tolled 28 times, an aural prayer for all the dead.  This was picked up by the local news, and then apparently made the subject of conversation on a local talk-radio station, which was unhappy that the community prayed for the shooter as well as his victims.

It seems to me, though, that this prayer is essential.  If you really are a Christian, then isn't it required to pray for all the dead?  Isn't a tenet of the faith that God's love is infinite?  If you believe in God, isn't it possible, nay, even likely, that He will take the tortured soul of the shooter, forgive, and heal him?  And shouldn't you pray that He does?

On the news, we're hearing much about how the Evangelical voices like Huckabee and Dobson say that the Sandy Hook tragedy is God's "punishment" for abortion, gay marriage, or school prayer.  It's a quite pathetic view of God to presume He'd slaughter innocent children because He's miffed at two gay guys tying the knot.  But then, these voices are the hellfire voices, strident for punishment and supportive of the death penalty, while perversely claiming to be "pro-life".  They almost never speak of mercy, nor of love.  

When  I go to the Episcopal Church, I am told that I am a child of God, who loves me beyond my wildest imagining. But if such a God loves me, He must also love Adam Lanza, and must weep over him as would any parent.

It seems to me that if you buy into Christianity, you don't get to choose whom God loves--or forgives.   Which leads me yet again to think much of the conflict between conservative and liberal forms of Christianity is the conflict between desiring retribution, and allowing redemption.

So, will your church bell toll tomorrow morning?  and how many times?

Prayers for IT and her family

IT's father passed away last night. Notes from her:

I am currently stuck in Washington DC by the storm, and just found out that my dad died last night, unexpectedly. I will not be doing any blogging for a while. My wife is trying to get me a flight home and thence to the Bay Area to be with Mom. Expect me to be out of touch for a while.

....
BP managed to re-route me ... and I should get home late tonight, leaving first thing tomorrow for the bay area.

Surround those we love with prayers and support at this time. May IT feel our love as she walks this path.

Prayers and thoughts

Condolences from all the Friends of Jake

From IT:

M. died last night (Sunday night). :-( Please remember her and keep her family and friends (including BP) in your thoughts.

Francis Collins and prayer

Francis Collins is the director of the NIH, and an amazingly accomplished physician and geneticist. He is also remarkable for being one of the most "out" of Christian believers in the higher echelons of science.

We talked about Collins before, in the context of the shameful protests that some scientists made about his nomination to lead NIH. I refer you to that post for a detailed discussion of my views on this.

I also recommend to you a excellent recent New Yorker profile that also addresses some of the recent stem cell debate.

A propos of JCF mentioning praying for Christopher Hitchens, a prominent "new atheist" voice, I wanted to point out this recent piece Collins wrote for the WaPo, Praying for my friend Christopher Hitchens

It was with dismay that I learned in June that Christopher had been diagnosed with cancer. And this was a very serious situation - esophageal cancer that has already spread to regional lymph nodes has a poor prognosis, and pursuing all avenues of intervention, even if experimental, would be highly advisable. ...

So as I have done in other situations where a friend was in trouble, I reached out to Christopher and his wife Carol Blue to offer assistance. They welcomed that possibility, and we've met several times since then....

Some observers have expressed surprise that the atheist intellectual and the Christian physician-scientist could become friends. After all, in the current political climate in Washington, anyone who doesn't agree with you is supposed to be your enemy. But I would like to think that Christopher's sharp intellect has challenged my own defense of the rationality of faith to be more consistent and compelling. "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" (Proverbs 27:17)....

Over these last few months, we have not talked directly about faith. He knows that I am praying for him. But my prayer is not so much for a supernatural intervention - as a physician I have not seen evidence for such medical miracles in my own experience. Instead I pray for myself and for Christopher along the lines of James 1:5 - "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." And I then give thanks for the chance to share in a deepening friendship.

I think that is a wise and caring letter.

It's also worth remembering that unlike yours truly, Collins is both MD and PhD. He has practiced medicine. My experience is that physicians are much more likely to be people of faith, and not ashamed of it, than the pure scientists. Perhaps it is because of the ultimately humbling nature of putting our paltry knowledge against real flesh-and-blood, pain, and death. It is very easy in science to be glib about "curing cancer" and the hard, bright light of relentlessly intellectual pursuit. We aren't called upon to utter death sentences to real people. There's actually a striking cultural gap between physician and scientist. Collins is one of the rare birds who bridges that (he's an outstanding basic scientist), but the reminder that he is a physician by training helps me understand part of where that faith may come from. I've never met him, but I really like him as head of NIH.

Prayers for David

Prayers for a member of our blogging team, David.

He says:
I could stand being on y'all's prayer list for the next week. There are rumors of job cutbacks here at work and I don't know how severe they'll be. So prayers for my continued employment would be greatly appreciated...

Thanks, David