Signs your Evangelical friend is succumbing to Episcopalianism

Worth a read ! 

Are your evangelical friends safe from the menace of creeping Episcopalianism? Can you be sure? 

Here are 24 warning signs to watch out for.

1. You say “How’re you doing?” and they respond “And also with you."

....

9. They gave up something for Lent.
10. They know what Lent is.

My wife's car

...has a new bumper sticker.

Holiday humor break

I am tired of the fiscal cliff, the Supreme Court, and the endless arguments over Equality. But everyone loves cats, right?   Buzzfeed offers us 29 cats in Christmas trees.

Look at this one.  "Who, me?"

Good thing our cat does not climb trees.  That could be a disaster, given his portliness.

And let's not forget this classic Simon's Cat episode.

Video sunday: Top Ten Reasons to be Episcopalian

If it isn't loading in your browser, click here.

Friday High Church Humor

As I've told you, my wife BP is one of the thurifers at the Cathedral in San Diego, leading me to make comments like "are you thurifing this weekend?"  and "I must remember, you swing the thurible and I swing the thurifer!"

Recently, she was invited to begin training as a verger.  At the choral Eucharist on Sundays, there are generally two vergers PLUS the Canon Verger, who house-manage the service, wrangle the readers, acolytes, choir,  and children, and can step into any other server role as needed.  It's a Cathedral, so they do a big service.   BP is doing great;  altar service is a wonderful ministry for her, and suits her talents well.

However, she still loves to swing smoke.  Yesterday she told me that in addition to serving twice a month at the Eucharist, in whatever capacity is needed, she's going to do a regular once-a-month gig as a thurifer at Evensong as well.

My comment?

"Just don't burn out."

Ba-da-BUM.  Happy Friday!

(As an aside related to the conversation on the Lead, by offering a traditional choral liturgy, great music, excellent preaching, and inclusive welcome, coupled with an active voice for social justice in the community, the Cathedral congregation is growing, and I see increasing numbers of young people.)

A moment of inner geek

Okay, time out from national, ecclesiastical, or personal politics!

This Lady Gaga parody SO captures what it is like to be a frustrated grad student in molecular biology....

Video Humor: T shirt war

As the year winds down, what better than some clever humor?

Now for a lighter moment (updated)

I suspect the error was because they exceeded bandwidth limits. Anyway, it's back!

How would you explain a treadmill to a cat?

FOJ begins some new ventures with Apple

Some super secret goings on have been taking place behind the scenes here at FOJ.

I am very excited to announce that our very own David H. and IT have been working on some useful Ipod/Iphone/Ipad apps with Apple, which I believe our crew will find very useful indeed, and which could really change the way we practice our traditions. Hell - these could redefine "church" as we know it!

First off is an app called Substantiator. Are you ultra-concerned about whether or not your host is properly consecrated? How can you tell what the true intentions of the eucharistic presider really are? What if they don't believe the host and wine are turned into the acutal body and blood of Christ? What if it would totally gross you out if they did? Well now, the Substantiator app can answer all your questions.

Simply download the app on your Iphone or Ipod touch (beta version will shortly be available for the new Ipad), and open it up as the Eucharistic prayer starts. Using very specific algorithms and state of the art lie-detector technology, by the end of the prayer, you will be able to determine whether tran- or con- substantiation has occured (or whether the presider is really just all about the anamnesis of the moment, if you know what I mean...). The specific belief of the presider will be clearly displayed on the Iphone or Ipod, so that you can make a determination if the sacrament will meet your spiritual needs. No more guessing!

Next is another revolutionary and useful app for all of us. In these times, when so many people are expressing all their thoughts and opinions so easily, and with so many to sort through on any given topic, your FOJ blog authors felt a way to sift through these sources quickly and efficiently is so necessary. I mean, who has TIME to try to figure out who is full of shit or not? So, with this in mind, our more technologically oriented minds melded to come up with The Bullshitometer. After downloading this app, you can set it for your rhetorical preference (right/left/center - even fine tuning to center left/center right is possible!), enter in any organizational name or web address, and detect the exact levels of hypocrisy and/or obfuscation present. Those sites containing outright lies beyond a 50% threshold will be automatically deleted from you internet browswer FOREVER, saving you precious time and conserving your delicate gray matter. This is going to be REVOLUTIONARY! Can't wait to get the feedback on it!

And finally - for those of you who read here and who hold closet beliefs about the rapture, (you know who you are! I'll bet you are obsessively watching 2012), we even have an app for you, called, well, 2012. Again, using sophisticated algorithms, we have put in all known prophetic end of the world predictions from a variety of calendars, cultures and contexts to come up with the specific date in 2012 that the world will end, down to the second. This app is a bit costly - $201.20 - but we feel it will be well worth knowing when the world will end. As new predictions/interpretations/documentation comes to light, we will make the necessary algorithmic adjustments in order to be as accurate and specific about the end date as possible so that you can plan appropriately. We are hoping to expand this service to include specific regional event prediction to help you choose the death that will most suit you and your loved ones, and to time the running up of your credit debt to coincide with the end times most efficaciously. This one is going to be hot!

Happy shopping from your app developer friends here at FOJ. (Who knew our illustrious group housed such hidden talent?) I just know you are going to love these!

Holy Week humor

From Ekklesia:

A church in New Zealand is to put up an Easter billboard tomorrow showing a cartoon Jesus on a cross with the caption “Well this sucks. I wonder if they will remember anything I said…”

At Christmas the church made headlines around the world with a picture of Mary and Joseph in bed, causing the poster to be vandalised by local people.

Tomorrow, which is also April Fools Day, St Matthew’s in Auckland will put up its first billboard of the year, designed to use humour to encourage debate and discussion. The poster also draws attention to the tendency of some in the churches to focus exclusively on Jesus’ death as the expense of his teachings.

Christians who believe that Jesus’ words and example of love and forgiveness should be central to their faith have frequently expressed concern about the actions of some churches who they feel do not take their Bibles seriously, particularly with regard to issues of justice.

Glynn Cardy, Vicar of St Matthew’s, said: “There is a great tradition in the Eastern Church of cracking jokes at Easter. Laughing proclaims that despite the realities of suffering and death, the power of life, love and liberty is stronger. The tenacity of the human spirit is God given, and will not be overcome by the forces of oppression.”

What do you think about humor and the Holy?

To split or not to split?

Who's going where? It is so confusing that you need a roadmap. Oh, look someone made one: Brilliant. Of course, this is English so they don't have the CANA option.

Humor break

Prop 8, the musical: or how gay marriage will save the economy

Another "Community Organizer"

Community Organizer - it's nothing compared to being a small town mayor.

[tip o' the hat to the wonderful Susan Russell]