Happy Birthday Mom!

My mother turns 83 today. She's slowing down a bit physically, but is still lively and fiercely opinionated as ever.

Among the many things I learned from Mom was how to be a naturalist. From a young age, I learned to be a birder by looking out the big picture windows into our backyard. Family vacations were camping trips, where I learned how to be still, to listen, and look for hidden things: industrious ants working a hill or a silent owl high in a tree. As a young teen, I roamed the regional parks of the Berkeley Hills by myself, following deer trails and lying in the grass to watch the fawns, teaching myself to be invisible. No parent would let their kids do that today, which is a huge loss.

A few years ago Mom told me, "every day has a gift that I look for". Mostly this is on the daily walk she takes with Dad and their dogs, in the same hills I roamed as a child. Sometimes she phones me to tell me what it was: colorful mushrooms springing up after a rain, a great blue heron hunting gophers on a remote meadow, the first lupine of the season, or one of those spectacular clear winter days over the San Francisco Bay where you can almost see the Farallon Islands from Grizzly Peak.

I've tried to take this on board for myself. I live a more urban life than Mom and much of it is imprisoned by a long commute, so I don't have the ability to range over the hills any more. But I try to be still and look for the gift nonetheless, which can attenuate the frustration of delays and traffic.

Recently, my morning train was trapped at a red signal for a prolonged period, but it was right next to a lagoon full of reeds, where the redwing blackbirds were displaying for the females. I watched one plain brown female flit from sector to sector, head tilted, evaluating the flashing scarlet wing patches of each calling male. Or it can be the yellow mustard that dusts the green hills at this time of year. Or the sudden view of the snowy San Gabriels through the palm trees of Orange County. Yesterday, a rainstorm cleared Los Angeles but left the clouds all tangled up with the mountaintops, so it looked like the peaks of the Santa Monicas, the Verdugos, and the San Gabriels all disappeared into mounds of fluffy white cotton. It was beautiful.

Thank you Mom. I love you. Happy Birthday!

Oh, for a muse of fire....reflections on our Triduum

When they lit the brazier at the back of the darkened Cathedral on Saturday night to begin the Vigil, Shakespeare's opening line to Henry V came to mind. (No doubt in part because of the atavistic, elemental nature of the image--fire, darkness, ancient robes and rhythms). How paltry my own words are to describe our experience this week! To me, it felt like an episodic drama, in which we were ourselves both players and audience in an inexorable narrative. Due to work responsibilities, we were unable to attend Wednesday's Tenebrae, so we began with the solemnities of Maundy Thursday.

This installment of course is full of shadows and foreboding, yet with the warmth of a most intimate service between people. At the Cathedral, the footwashing is mutual; everyone came up to have their feet washed, and in turn, to wash the feet of the person next in line. There was great tenderness and kindness there, and deep reflection.

Knowing I am a bit of a shutterbug, one of our Cathedral friends asked me to be one of the photographers, so I got to play a role that suits me well: the backstage observer, crouched under a rail, able to be of service even while not fully part of the event. The faces were amazing: some people looking fixedly at the person bathing their feet, others with a distant expression, some at peace, some fierce with expectation. My poor camera was challenged by the low light though I managed a few wonderful images. BP found it deeply moving, particularly in the give-and-get of playing both parts (a few days later, seeing her footwasher, she greeted him with a great hug). As the service concluded, the clergy stripped the altar to leave it bare for the next day.

For the Good Friday service, the spare emptiness was accentuated. On the altar, the clergy wore their deep purple cathedral cassocks--no white surplices, no white albs. The voices singing the Passion were spectacular, their beauty contrasting with the grimness of their tale. And when the Dean, who is a big man, carried the cross up the aisle, I think no one breathed. When he dropped it into its holder with a sharp crack, there was a shudder. And then, in ones and twos, a few people came up to kneel in front, some holding their hands tightly clasped, others reaching out to touch it with their fingertips. (Again, I was asked to play photographer; it was kind to give me something useful to do).

Then came the Vigil. We went out to dinner ahead of time with the kids and were seated in our assigned pew well ahead of time. BP's classmates who were to be confirmed, received, or reaffirmed (about 25 of them, plus a few baptisms) had that undercurrent of excitement of graduation. The stage management was masterful, beginning with that brazier of fire, and then the huge vast space of the Cathedral lit by individual candles (though I did have a moment considering the risks of immolation! :-) When the "class" went up to the altar, in the flickering candlelight, I was so proud of BP!

Now, both BP and I were confirmed Roman Catholic in the 8th grade. Our kids were confirmed in the 10th grade. We all remember that our RC confirmation was a bit of an assembly line -- tracing a cross on the forehead, a few rote words, and next, please! BP found this experience quite different and deeply moving. The Bishop took her hands, as he spoke to her, then touched her face. He looked deep in her eyes ("like he was looking into my soul," she reported later) and made this a very personal moment.

The solemnity broke as the lights came up (though there was no easy sermon from the Dean, who as usual challenged any comfortable complacency) and the choir went forward in full voice, as did the impressive organ. After it ended, we all went to the great hall for a joyous reception of champagne and sweet snacks. BP asked the bishop to sign her BCP, and posed for the standard picture-with-Bishop. And so, finally, home--both metaphorically and physically. And here we are.

The Feast of the Resurrection

Luke 24:1-10

On Sunday, at daybreak, they made their way to the tomb, bringing the spices they had prepared. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went inside they did not find the body of the Lord Jesus.

And so, while they were still uncertain about what to do, two figures in dazzling clothing suddenly appeared and stood beside them. Out of sheer fright they prostrated themselves on the ground; the men said to them, "Why are you looking for the living among the dead? He is not here---he was raised. Remember what he told you while he was still in Galilee: 'The son of Adam is destined to be turned over to heathen, to be crucified, and on the third day to rise.'" Then they recalled what he had said.

And returning from the tomb, they related everything to the eleven and to everybody else. The group included Mary of Magdala and Joanna and Mary the mother of James, and the rest of the women companions. They related their story to the apostles.

The Road to Golgotha

The Road to Golgotha
Simon Desmond, 1999

Be counted

Fill out your census form - George and Brad show you how:

FOJ begins some new ventures with Apple

Some super secret goings on have been taking place behind the scenes here at FOJ.

I am very excited to announce that our very own David H. and IT have been working on some useful Ipod/Iphone/Ipad apps with Apple, which I believe our crew will find very useful indeed, and which could really change the way we practice our traditions. Hell - these could redefine "church" as we know it!

First off is an app called Substantiator. Are you ultra-concerned about whether or not your host is properly consecrated? How can you tell what the true intentions of the eucharistic presider really are? What if they don't believe the host and wine are turned into the acutal body and blood of Christ? What if it would totally gross you out if they did? Well now, the Substantiator app can answer all your questions.

Simply download the app on your Iphone or Ipod touch (beta version will shortly be available for the new Ipad), and open it up as the Eucharistic prayer starts. Using very specific algorithms and state of the art lie-detector technology, by the end of the prayer, you will be able to determine whether tran- or con- substantiation has occured (or whether the presider is really just all about the anamnesis of the moment, if you know what I mean...). The specific belief of the presider will be clearly displayed on the Iphone or Ipod, so that you can make a determination if the sacrament will meet your spiritual needs. No more guessing!

Next is another revolutionary and useful app for all of us. In these times, when so many people are expressing all their thoughts and opinions so easily, and with so many to sort through on any given topic, your FOJ blog authors felt a way to sift through these sources quickly and efficiently is so necessary. I mean, who has TIME to try to figure out who is full of shit or not? So, with this in mind, our more technologically oriented minds melded to come up with The Bullshitometer. After downloading this app, you can set it for your rhetorical preference (right/left/center - even fine tuning to center left/center right is possible!), enter in any organizational name or web address, and detect the exact levels of hypocrisy and/or obfuscation present. Those sites containing outright lies beyond a 50% threshold will be automatically deleted from you internet browswer FOREVER, saving you precious time and conserving your delicate gray matter. This is going to be REVOLUTIONARY! Can't wait to get the feedback on it!

And finally - for those of you who read here and who hold closet beliefs about the rapture, (you know who you are! I'll bet you are obsessively watching 2012), we even have an app for you, called, well, 2012. Again, using sophisticated algorithms, we have put in all known prophetic end of the world predictions from a variety of calendars, cultures and contexts to come up with the specific date in 2012 that the world will end, down to the second. This app is a bit costly - $201.20 - but we feel it will be well worth knowing when the world will end. As new predictions/interpretations/documentation comes to light, we will make the necessary algorithmic adjustments in order to be as accurate and specific about the end date as possible so that you can plan appropriately. We are hoping to expand this service to include specific regional event prediction to help you choose the death that will most suit you and your loved ones, and to time the running up of your credit debt to coincide with the end times most efficaciously. This one is going to be hot!

Happy shopping from your app developer friends here at FOJ. (Who knew our illustrious group housed such hidden talent?) I just know you are going to love these!

Maundy Thursday

Almighty Father, whose dear Son, on the night before he suffered, instituted the Sacrament of his Body and Blood: Mercifully grant that we may receive it thankfully in remembrance of Jesus Christ our Lord, who in these holy mysteries gives us a pledge of eternal life; and who now lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.


John 13:1-5
Now before the festival of the Passover, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.

The devil had already put it into the heart of Judas son of Simon Iscariot to betray him. And during supper Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into his hands, and that he had come from God and was going to God, got up from the table, took off his outer robe, and tied a towel around himself. Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?" Jesus answered, "You do not know now what I am doing, but later you will understand." Peter said to him, "You will never wash my feet." Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no share with me." Simon Peter said to him, "Lord, not my feet only but also my hands and my head!" Jesus said to him, "One who has bathed does not need to wash, except for the feet, but is entirely clean. And you are clean, though not all of you." For he knew who was to betray him; for this reason he said, "Not all of you are clean."

After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had returned to the table, he said to them, "Do you know what I have done to you? You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are right, for that is what I am. So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. For I have set you an example, that you also should do as I have done to you.